Paris Hilton Whore Goes to Prison

Hilton 'doing well' in LA prison (too bad--where are the shanks and the bad gang-bangers when you need them?). Paris Hilton has an hour a day to shower or make phone calls. Paris Hilton, the US socialite, white trash whore, and former TV star of The Simple Life, is doing well after her first night in a Los Angeles jail, her lawyer has said. Dick Shyster added she would now "reflect on her filthy life, to see what evil she can do to make the world more perverted". Hours after appearing at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, Hilton, 26, started her sentence at the LA County Jail.

She will serve 23 days in solitary confinement for violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction. The rich whore has been separated from the main prison population in a special unit that contains 12 cells, each holding two people. The warden, Otto Kruger said he put Hilton in solitary confinement because she would suffer more by herself. We don't want her spending her time here in non-stop lesbian orgies. We know she would love to lick some prison pussy, and there is always the issue of contraband. Here in prison, she would be able to trade for young coochie and drugs with people who know that she can help them because of all her money." Hilton asked for the mug-shots of the youngest inmates, as she wanted to choose a cute cell-mate, but she was turned down.

Hilton will spend 23 hours in her cell and has one hour to shower and masturbate, watch television or make phone calls. Former inmate and LA resident Camesha Poontang, who spent one day in the main prison for neglecting to pay parking tickets, said conditions for the rest of the women were unpleasant. "You have people defecating on themselves, urinating on themselves, filming amateur lezzie porn--it's horrible," she said. "The only way to alleviate suffering is sex. Some of the guards bring their video cameras every day. I got paid with cigarettes for my videos." Hilton's lawyer said his client was "really being punished because of her celebrity> She's not the dirty skank everyone says she is. Inside her shallow outer shell is a true sociopath on the level of a Martha Stewart or Leona Helmsley."

Steve Dickmore from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, which runs the jail, said: "Her demeanor was helpful." Hilton was accompanied by Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as she arrived at the jail. She was then fingerprinted, photographed, medically screened and issued with the jail's regulation orange jumpsuit. She removed her top and she was cooperative. She performed fellatio on everyone in Booking. She had sex with the guard that took her to her cell. She gave each prison employee hundred dollar bills on her way to solitary confinement. After checking in, Hilton was given her first meal which was caviar, cocaine, and vodka.

Mr. Shyster said his client is taking responsibility for her actions, adding: "She knows everyone thinks she is a dumb coke whore, but her attitude is 'I'm going to come in here, I'm going to lick a lot of pussy, have lots of fun, do lots of contraband drugs, do some screens for venereal diseases, and get it over with. I'm going to show the world who I really am, not just a dumb whore." Meanwhile the waxwork museum Madame Tussaud's in London has taken the opportunity to mock the celebrity socialite. The wax mannequin of the star has been temporarily dressed in a black and white striped prison suit, placed with her head between the legs of Marie Antoinette, another famous dumb whore.

Top Spammer Arrested

A 27-year-old man described as one of the world's most prolific spammers was arrested Wednesday, and federal authorities said computer users across the Web could notice a decrease in the amount of junk e-mail. Robert Alan Soloway is accused of using networks of compromised "zombie" computers to send out millions upon millions of spam e-mails. "He's one of the top 10 spammers in the world," said Tim Cranton, a Microsoft Corp. lawyer who is senior director of the company's Worldwide Internet Safety Programs. "He's a huge problem for our customers. This is a very good day." A federal grand jury last week returned a 35-count indictment against Soloway charging him with mail fraud, wire fraud, e-mail fraud, aggravated identity theft and money laundering.

Soloway pleaded not guilty Wednesday afternoon to all charges after a judge determined that — even with four bank accounts seized by the government — he was sufficiently well off to pay for his own lawyer. He has been living in a ritzy apartment and drives an expensive Mercedes convertible, said prosecutor Kathryn Warma. Prosecutors are seeking to have him forfeit $773,000 they say he made from his business, Newport Internet Marketing Corp. A public defender who represented him for Wednesday's hearing declined to comment.

Prosecutors say Soloway used computers infected with malicious code to send out millions of junk e-mails since 2003. The computers are called "zombies" because owners typically have no idea their machines have been infected. He continued his activities even after Microsoft won a $7 million civil judgment against him in 2005 and the operator of a small Internet service provider in Oklahoma won a $10 million judgment, prosecutors said. U.S. Attorney Jeff Sullivan said Wednesday that the case is the first in the country in which federal prosecutors have used identity theft statutes to prosecute a spammer for taking over someone else's Internet domain name. Soloway could face decades in prison, though prosecutors said they have not calculated what guideline sentencing range he might face.

The investigation began when the authorities began receiving hundreds of complaints about Soloway, who had been featured on a list of known spammers kept by The Spamhaus Project, an international anti-spam organization. The Santa Barbara County, Calif., Department of Social Services said it was spending $1,000 a week to fight the spam it was receiving, and other businesses and individuals complained of having their reputations damaged when it appeared spam was originating from their computers. "This is not just a nuisance. This is way beyond a nuisance," Warma said.

Soloway used the networks of compromised computers to send out unsolicited bulk e-mails urging people to use his Internet marketing company to advertise their products, authorities said. People who clicked on a link in the e-mail were directed to his Web site. There, Soloway advertised his ability to send out as many as 20 million e-mail advertisements over 15 days for $495, the indictment said. The Spamhaus Project rejoiced at his arrest. "Soloway has been a long-term nuisance on the Internet — both in terms of the spam he sent, and the people he duped to use his spam service," organizers wrote on Spamhaus.org. Soloway remained in federal detention pending a hearing Monday.

Scumbag Ken Lay is Dead

Ken Lay is dead. May he burn in hell. Ken Lay died of a heart attack, probably because his lawyers sent him their bill. Ken Lay was the Enron corporate weasel who robbed not only his customers and colleagues but his own employees and friends. Ken Lay never spent a day in jail, thanks to the millions of dollars that he had stolen from others.

His lawyers got rich, and Ken Lay's family got to keep all the money he siphoned to them. The only people that got screwed were the thousands that trusted him and who believed that the U.S. Government would protect them from fraud.

Hurricane Hype Begins Now!

The Hurricane Season begins June 1, and the weather vultures have already begun hyping their non-stop 24 hour weather coverage. Don't get me wrong, hurricanes are very dangerous. But cynical opportunism is just as bad, and that is what has been going on in South Florida since Hurricane Andrew came along in 1992. Hurricane Andrew turned Bryan Norcross into a media superstar and millionaire because he stayed up the entire night of Hurricane Andrew broadcasting photos of homes being destroyed (thanks to the stringers that they had taking photos and risking their lives out in the hurricanes).

Because of the incredible celebrity (and riches) that Norcross got from exploiting Hurricane Andrew for all it was worth, a new breed of weather-person spawned in South Florida; The Hurricane Forecaster. These folks are weather-persons during most of the year, but during hurricane season they spend their time regularly interrupting television shows to let you know that there is a hurricane brewing near Chile, 2400 miles away. Then they let you know that in ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes they will interrupt the show again to give you an update on the storm. This goes on and on from June until November, when the hurricane season is finally over.

Besides getting people constantly hyped up about every possible storm in the western hemisphere, these weather vultures spend a lot of their time endorsing hurricane preparedness. This means that supermarkets, lumber companies, electrical generator sellers, and air-conditioning repair companies generously sponsor these Hurricane Warning shows and hurricane preparedness "specials" so that the weather vultures can lead the public running to the stores to buy millions of dollars in hurricane "protection." When hurricane season begins, you can see the happiness and joy on the faces of weather-persons like Don Noe. Every time a storm is brewing somewhere, they interrupt programming to announce a hurricane warning, and you can see they are over-joyed at the prospect of another opportunity to become the next hurricane celebrity, like Bryan Norcross.

Does all this hurricane exploitation save any lives? Sure. There are probably some morons that would not figure out that a hurricane was coming unless they saw constant warnings and updates every ten minutes on every television station. For the rest of us, the hurricanes are an unavoidable force of nature that you can prepare for in a reasonable manner without any hysteria. Hopefully someday soon Bryan Norcross, Don Noe, and the rest of these hurricane vultures will retire (or go to prison--former hurricane expert Bill Kamal is doing five years for kiddie porn. Did his guilty conscience drive him to self-destruct?) and open the way for weather-persons that have some sense of ethics and journalistic integrity.

Thugs Gangstas Homies girls

Who are they, and why do they let themselves get used? Is it poverty, lack of education, low self esteem, low intelligence, peer pressure, unstable family environment?

J-Lo, or just another gangsta ho? Is this the fashion statement for low income Hispanic girls?

Pimp Daddy (or Vanilla Ice?) making the rounds to visit his homie girlz. Lots of dumb gangsta chics love to get into the tricked-out hunks of shit that pass for cool vehicles among thugs.

The thug life: tattoos, drugs, liquor, ugly friends, and either going to prison, or visiting friends in prison.

Some girls lacking in social skills are probably better off being in a gang, if they can find one that wants them.

Eva Rodriguez and Patricia Crespo, victims of a drive-by shooting. How many young girls have died as a result of gang violence?

Notice the dumb faces on most of the skags that are flashing gangsta signs. There are probably some that are right out of Special Ed.

You can bet these two gangsta skanks are probably working hard at Mickey-D's to support their homies.

The thug & gangsta life usually ends in prison, drug rehabilitation, and/or death. Most of the women of these gang criminals end up as unwed mommies with no child support.