Monday, September 29, 2008
Bear Kills Trainer
Comment: Sad that the trainer got killed, but even sadder that TV, commercials, and Hollywood have to f*ck with animals so much and so often. Leave the poor creatures alone, God created them to live in their nature, not to be performing un-natural tricks for their human masters.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
SEX and THE CITY PREMIERE TURNS UGLY!
Alissa Hoffman had taken off work for the day to attend the premiere as a treat for her 27th birthday. "We waited in line 21/2 hours. . . . I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now," Hoffman said. Officials of New Line Cinema declined to comment. Radio City ushers pointed out the fine print on the rejected tickets that says seating is first-come, first-served. "I've spent five months looking forward to this. I'm angry and frustrated," said Jen Ferguson, 23, who flew in all the way from British Columbia. Ferguson, dressed to the nines in a black Hervé Léger bandage dress and blue satin Christian Louboutin heels, said her parents had bought four tickets for $1,000 each and booked rooms at The Plaza hotel. (What a bunch of dumb, drunken whores!)
The line for the movie, based on the hit HBO series, stretched from Sixth Ave. and wrapped around 50th St. at 5:40 p.m. when officials told the crowd that their tickets would not be honored. "I'm absolutely heartbroken," said Mary Robbins, 26, of the upper East Side, who underwent a throat cancer operation last week and had the surgical staples to prove it. "This is pain and the city." (Get a real life, bitch!)
Comments: What a bunch of fucking maroons, getting dressed up like they were the stars of the movie just so they could see a free premiere where they stood in line for numerous hours for nothing. Everyone knows those free tickets are first come, first serve, so when you are at the end of a line of thousands of people and you don't get in, who is to blame? Just your own stupidity. To all the fucking assholes who did not get in, LOL!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
ESPY AWARDS
- Best Millionaire Jock Blooper
- Stupidest Jock Quote of The Year
- Biggest Loser Coach of the Year
- Best Prison Jock
- Prettiest Lesbian College Basketball player
- Scummiest Sports Agent
- Top Ten Drug Rehab Highlights
- Best Hairy Ass Shot Taken in the Showers After The Big Game
- Jock Tales From Alcoholics Anonymous
- Fattest Dyke Golfer of the Year
- Endorsement Deal Horror Stories
- Sports Lowlife of The Year
- Best Millionaire Athlete Mug Shot
- Best Pat On the Ass By a Creepy-Looking Alcoholic Manager
- Best 911 Call by an Abused Sports Wife
- Most Alcoholic Baseball Player
- Best Arrest Report
- Best DUI Police Videos
- Best Highlights of Crappy Unknown Sports that ESPN promotes
- The Most Un-Funny ESPN Sportscenter Hosts
- Endless Clips of Chris Berman's Insipid Remarks
- Clips of Dick Vitale Screaming Like a Deflowered Virgin
- Many More Clips of Self-Promoting Crap
and of course, the amazing shots of pro athletes occasionally catching the ball, hitting a home run, throwing a pass, and doing their jobs. Too bad the ESPN has nothing to do with Sports they way it used to be before ESPN turned it into "Entertainment Content." Yes, the ESPIES is an endless shitstorm of self-congratulation, self-adulation, and masturbation.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Old Celebrity Faces
Wayne Newton has a face like a baby's butt. Another one with tiny eyes thanks to plastic surgery.
Priscilla Presley looks like she is either a vampire or she is using the skin from a cadaver.
Mickey Rourke always manages to look more hideous in every mug shot.
Melanie Griffith was a hot babe once. Now she could scare the devil if he woke up in bed next to that face!
Look at how stretched out her skin is! Even around her nose it looks like it is about the crack open.
Donnatella Versace is living proof that all that hard partying catches up with you sooner or later. She looks like she was Mike Tyson's girlfriend for a few rounds.
Florence Henderson supposedly bagged some of the Brady boys, but I wonder if she had a glass eye back in those days? Shagging her now has to be something like a journey into mystery.
Gary Busey looked insane his entire life. Getting older has just taken it to the next level of scary.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
ESPN Greatest Highlight
Why don't these ESPN clowns just stick to reporting the news? Not a single one of these dorks is remotely funny, and yet they all think that they are amazingly humorous. What about that Stuart Scott guy that looks like the dork from Fresh Prince of Bel Air?? He really needs a make-over and someone needs to let him know that he is the least funny of all the ESPN parasites. His wandering eye is annoying. This week they have had the entire week dedicated to some beagle that won a dog contest! When did that become sports? Only on ESPN can you find NFL Football followed by dog shows. What a joke. ESPN disrespects everything honorable and noble that the professional athlete once stood for and turned them into "entertainers." ESPN is the official Sports Pimp to all athletes. Extreme Sports? Have you ever seen that nonsense? Someone can do a triple somersault with their hand up their ass while on a skateboard...WOW! Let's see that highlight a million times on ESPN. How about those incredibly pathetic ESPY awards. Athletes actually show up to accept awards for "Best Catch" and all other kinds of silly topics that have to do with "ESPN Highlights." Now we get THE GREATEST HIGHLIGHT! The greatest ESPN Highlight would be the building being shut down and ESPN going out of business.
Not to mention the most annoying Dick Vitale. When is he going to finally retire? Vitale has been about to retire for ten years, but like some kind of incurable venereal disease, he keeps coming back. If Dick Vitale ever starred in a porno movie you know he could fit about five giant black penises into his big mouth. The only thing worse than Dick Vitale is that Beano Cook toad and that other old fart that does the college football games and wears a rug (toupee) that you can clearly see from a mile away. Lee Corso must be about 97 years old and they won't get rid of the bastard. Not to mention Digger Phelps. Why doesn't somebody give him a shovel? Don't any of these old farts have any families? No wonder the kids of the rich and celebrities all turn out to be drug addicts and alcoholics. Their parents were never there for them. ESPN has turned our greatest athletes into money-grubbing whores. Even worse, many of these ESPN tards have ended up on other networks reporting, perverting, and corrupting sports all across the world. The NFL Network hired that major weirdo who is always wearing eye-liner and looks and talks like Buffy the vampire slayer. Jesus H. Christ, couldn't they find at least one manly guy to work the NFL Network??