Geico Cave Men

Talk about the ultimate moronic Geico commercial. Geico must have money to burn. The first cave-man commercial was mildly amusing. The second one is mildy gloid. In this insipid commercial, the Geico hatchetman meets the two Neanderthals at a restaurant. Apparently these two boys are a couple, which just goes to show that Geico is a lot more liberal than their main stockholder. The more fey of the two Neanderthals decides he just can't eat after remembering the dismissive remark about the cave-men. Cave-boy is traumatized. The only thing missing is Joe Piscopo as The Prehistoric Cave-Man Lawyer to show up at the dinner table threatening to file a Class Action lawsuit because his two clients have been traumatized. Who writes these awful Geico commercials?

Update October 2007: The stupid ass Geico cavemen are now starring in their own Cavemen television series on the worst network, ABC (Another Boring Channel). This piece of shit idea began airing last night, and hopefully it will get cancelled by next week, if not sooner. The Cavemen series and the commercials are a testament to the stupidity of Americans, and the fact that the media thinks that Americans are dumber than blocks of wood, bags of rocks, or knitting yarn. The Cavemen are dumbing down America! Don't watch that Cavemen crap, and pray it gets cancelled immediately!! Better yet, maybe Jessica Alba will join the cast and give herpes to the neanderthals!! Then again, maybe they would rather get it from Derek Jeter. After all, they are prehistoric switch-hitters!

Arrested Hollywood

Hollywood has a long history of drunks, drug addicts, perverts, and murderers that have often gotten away with their crimes thanks to the studios and corrupt legal system. Here are a few examples.

Britney Spears has been rumored to go both ways in front of her kids. What a sad excuse of a Mom and a former Disney star. No Disney family values there!!

These two bimbos (Michelle Rodriguez and ?) from the cast of the LOST television series got arrested for DUI on the same night.

Mel Gibson's drunk photo. He looks really happy.

Armand Assante sucking down some vino?


Courtney Love in her usual state of inebriation.

David Hasselhoff trying to eat a burger off the floor while falling down drunk.



British singer Fergie, drunk or stoned?


Tara Reid, another drunken party animal.




OJ Simpson and his two victims. It is sad and sick that there are so many people who want to play golf with OJ and who keep telling him what a wonderful guy he is. Hopefully his most recent caper in Las Vegas will lead to some long prison terms for him and his friends.

Will OJ and Michael Vick find the love that will change them into good people?


The Black Dahlia murder. Another Hollywood crime that was never solved.

Keefer Sutherland before he was the star of "24" and now again has been arrested for DUI! Why does such a successful person need to be drunk all the time?

Yasmine Bleeth is a gorgeous babe, but in this arrest photo she looks like a two-bagger.

Vince Vaughn, when he's not crashing weddings is getting arrested for DUI.

Robert Downey, Jr. after some of his arrests for drugs, drinking, etc.

Paris Hilton, after being told that she only had $159 million in the bank.

Phil Spector, who stopped being relevant in the 1960s but is planning a new album with all the ex-girlfriends he has threatened.

Rip Torn. You can tell he thinks he's funny even when he's drunk and looks like Nick Nolte.

James Brown had a long history with drugs and alcohol.

Wynona Judd mugshot looks scary. She signed up to play Hogzilla in the next Godzilla movie.

Lindsey Lohan, another drunken Disney skank. Makes you wonder what kind of work environment they have for those Disney kid actors.

Nick Nolte after playing The Hulk's father and realizing that his career was over.

Homo Alone in prison, Macauley Culkin goes undercover. He actually requested more time. That milk mustache in the photo is not milk (check the corners of his mouth).

Remember Bud from Married With Children? He grew up and got busted, what a surprise!

Adam Baldwin, the most successful of the Baldwin brothers. When he is not insulting his ex-wife and daughter, he likes to drink and do drugs.

The most famous unconvicted celebrity.

Nicole Richie Spawns Mutant?

Hey everybody, have you heard the news? Nicole Richie is pregnant! She isn't married, and she hasn't exposed the list of potential fathers.

Some say it might be an alien.

Nobody thinks it could have been Paris Hilton.

We can only wonder for now which celebrity friend did the deed.

Maybe somebody that likes girls that have the body of a young boy???

The genetic potential of mixing the Jackson Family DNA with the Lionel Ritchie DNA is mind-boggling! The result would be a pop-star who could start making records by the time he/she was five years old...


Is this the future Lionel Jackson??

Paris Hilton Whore Goes to Prison

Hilton 'doing well' in LA prison (too bad--where are the shanks and the bad gang-bangers when you need them?). Paris Hilton has an hour a day to shower or make phone calls. Paris Hilton, the US socialite, white trash whore, and former TV star of The Simple Life, is doing well after her first night in a Los Angeles jail, her lawyer has said. Dick Shyster added she would now "reflect on her filthy life, to see what evil she can do to make the world more perverted". Hours after appearing at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, Hilton, 26, started her sentence at the LA County Jail.

She will serve 23 days in solitary confinement for violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction. The rich whore has been separated from the main prison population in a special unit that contains 12 cells, each holding two people. The warden, Otto Kruger said he put Hilton in solitary confinement because she would suffer more by herself. We don't want her spending her time here in non-stop lesbian orgies. We know she would love to lick some prison pussy, and there is always the issue of contraband. Here in prison, she would be able to trade for young coochie and drugs with people who know that she can help them because of all her money." Hilton asked for the mug-shots of the youngest inmates, as she wanted to choose a cute cell-mate, but she was turned down.

Hilton will spend 23 hours in her cell and has one hour to shower and masturbate, watch television or make phone calls. Former inmate and LA resident Camesha Poontang, who spent one day in the main prison for neglecting to pay parking tickets, said conditions for the rest of the women were unpleasant. "You have people defecating on themselves, urinating on themselves, filming amateur lezzie porn--it's horrible," she said. "The only way to alleviate suffering is sex. Some of the guards bring their video cameras every day. I got paid with cigarettes for my videos." Hilton's lawyer said his client was "really being punished because of her celebrity> She's not the dirty skank everyone says she is. Inside her shallow outer shell is a true sociopath on the level of a Martha Stewart or Leona Helmsley."

Steve Dickmore from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, which runs the jail, said: "Her demeanor was helpful." Hilton was accompanied by Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as she arrived at the jail. She was then fingerprinted, photographed, medically screened and issued with the jail's regulation orange jumpsuit. She removed her top and she was cooperative. She performed fellatio on everyone in Booking. She had sex with the guard that took her to her cell. She gave each prison employee hundred dollar bills on her way to solitary confinement. After checking in, Hilton was given her first meal which was caviar, cocaine, and vodka.

Mr. Shyster said his client is taking responsibility for her actions, adding: "She knows everyone thinks she is a dumb coke whore, but her attitude is 'I'm going to come in here, I'm going to lick a lot of pussy, have lots of fun, do lots of contraband drugs, do some screens for venereal diseases, and get it over with. I'm going to show the world who I really am, not just a dumb whore." Meanwhile the waxwork museum Madame Tussaud's in London has taken the opportunity to mock the celebrity socialite. The wax mannequin of the star has been temporarily dressed in a black and white striped prison suit, placed with her head between the legs of Marie Antoinette, another famous dumb whore.

Top Spammer Arrested

A 27-year-old man described as one of the world's most prolific spammers was arrested Wednesday, and federal authorities said computer users across the Web could notice a decrease in the amount of junk e-mail. Robert Alan Soloway is accused of using networks of compromised "zombie" computers to send out millions upon millions of spam e-mails. "He's one of the top 10 spammers in the world," said Tim Cranton, a Microsoft Corp. lawyer who is senior director of the company's Worldwide Internet Safety Programs. "He's a huge problem for our customers. This is a very good day." A federal grand jury last week returned a 35-count indictment against Soloway charging him with mail fraud, wire fraud, e-mail fraud, aggravated identity theft and money laundering.

Soloway pleaded not guilty Wednesday afternoon to all charges after a judge determined that — even with four bank accounts seized by the government — he was sufficiently well off to pay for his own lawyer. He has been living in a ritzy apartment and drives an expensive Mercedes convertible, said prosecutor Kathryn Warma. Prosecutors are seeking to have him forfeit $773,000 they say he made from his business, Newport Internet Marketing Corp. A public defender who represented him for Wednesday's hearing declined to comment.

Prosecutors say Soloway used computers infected with malicious code to send out millions of junk e-mails since 2003. The computers are called "zombies" because owners typically have no idea their machines have been infected. He continued his activities even after Microsoft won a $7 million civil judgment against him in 2005 and the operator of a small Internet service provider in Oklahoma won a $10 million judgment, prosecutors said. U.S. Attorney Jeff Sullivan said Wednesday that the case is the first in the country in which federal prosecutors have used identity theft statutes to prosecute a spammer for taking over someone else's Internet domain name. Soloway could face decades in prison, though prosecutors said they have not calculated what guideline sentencing range he might face.

The investigation began when the authorities began receiving hundreds of complaints about Soloway, who had been featured on a list of known spammers kept by The Spamhaus Project, an international anti-spam organization. The Santa Barbara County, Calif., Department of Social Services said it was spending $1,000 a week to fight the spam it was receiving, and other businesses and individuals complained of having their reputations damaged when it appeared spam was originating from their computers. "This is not just a nuisance. This is way beyond a nuisance," Warma said.

Soloway used the networks of compromised computers to send out unsolicited bulk e-mails urging people to use his Internet marketing company to advertise their products, authorities said. People who clicked on a link in the e-mail were directed to his Web site. There, Soloway advertised his ability to send out as many as 20 million e-mail advertisements over 15 days for $495, the indictment said. The Spamhaus Project rejoiced at his arrest. "Soloway has been a long-term nuisance on the Internet — both in terms of the spam he sent, and the people he duped to use his spam service," organizers wrote on Spamhaus.org. Soloway remained in federal detention pending a hearing Monday.