ESPY AWARDS

The ESPN Sports Pimps continue to hype the ultimate crap known as the ESPY AWARDS. This is where the hardcore ESPN audience of closet homosexuals, pedophiles, prison inmates, and Catholic priests all vote for the best highlights of the year. This includes such categories as:

1. Best Millionaire Jock Blooper


2. Stupidest Jock Quote of The Year


3. Biggest Loser Coach of the Year


4. Best Prison Jock


5. Prettiest Lesbian College Basketball player


6. Scummiest Sports Agent


7. Top Ten Drug Rehab Highlights


8. Best Hairy Ass Shot Taken in the Showers After The Big Game


9. Jock Tales From Alcoholics Anonymous


10. Fattest Dyke Golfer of the Year


11. Endorsement Deal Horror Stories
12. Sports Lowlife of The Year
13. Best Millionaire Athlete Mug Shot


14. Best Pat On the Ass By a Creepy-Looking Alcoholic Manager


15. Best 911 Call by an Abused Sports Wife


16. Most Alcoholic Baseball Player


17. Best Arrest Report


18. Best DUI Police Videos


19. Best Highlights of Crappy Unknown Sports that ESPN promotes


20. The Most Un-Funny ESPN Sportscenter Hosts


21. Endless Clips of Chris Berman's Insipid Remarks


22. Clips of Dick Vitale Screaming Like a Deflowered Virgin


23. Many More Clips of Self-Promoting Crap

and of course, the amazing shots of pro athletes occasionally catching the ball, hitting a home run, throwing a pass, and doing their jobs. Too bad the ESPN has nothing to do with Sports they way it used to be before ESPN turned it into "Entertainment Content." Yes, the ESPIES is an endless shitstorm of self-congratulation, self-adulation, and masturbation.