Monday, September 29, 2008

Bear Kills Trainer

Rocky the grizzly bear killed his handler with a bite to the neck. (Photograph: Christina Bush/Press Association) A grizzly bear that has starred in Hollywood films including Will Ferrell's latest comedy has attacked and killed its trainer. Rocky, a 360kg male grizzly aged five years, bit Stephan Miller on the neck during filming at an animal training centre in California. Miller's cousin, Randy, who set up the centre, said the bite occurred during "playful" wrestling by what was a "loving, affectionate, friendly, safe bear". "It hit him in a very vulnerable spot," Randy Miller told the Associated Press. "It happened so fast. We did what we had to do to stop the bear. It took a matter of seconds to get him off, but it was too late." Pepper spray was used to subdue the bear and paramedics arrived shortly afterwards but could not revive Miller. Rocky was being filmed for a promotional video for the Predators in Action centre in the San Bernardino Mountains at the time. The centre's animals have appeared in some of Hollywood's biggest films including Gladiator and The Last Samurai. It was set up by Randy Miller to train wild animals to perform, and to recreate animal attacks for Discovery Channel and National Geographic documentaries. One of its stunts is a reconstruction of the illusionist Roy Horn being mauled by a tiger during a Siegfried and Roy show in Las Vegas. "I'm not blaming the animal," Miller said. "We're fast and efficient if there's a problem. These kinds of scenes I do, we're putting ourselves in a vulnerable position a lot." In 1999, Randy Miller came under fire from animal rights groups for arranging a wrestling match between an Alaskan grizzly and a weightlifter. Rocky's fate has not been decided. Because the attack was on a private site it is outside the jurisdiction of state authorities, which would otherwise have had the power to destroy the bear.

Comment: Sad that the trainer got killed, but even sadder that TV, commercials, and Hollywood have to f*ck with animals so much and so often. Leave the poor creatures alone, God created them to live in their nature, not to be performing un-natural tricks for their human masters.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

SEX and THE CITY PREMIERE TURNS UGLY!

Thousands of ticket-holding fans waited outside the Radio City Music Hall for hours before the 'Sex & the City' premiere last night - and many of them were turned away. The "Sex and the City" premiere at Radio City Music Hall became all the rage Tuesday night after a ticket snafu left thousands of fashionistas all dressed up with absolutely no place to go. Organizers of the celeb-studded event overbooked the 6,000-seat theater, leaving bounced fans fuming. The angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping their Manolo Blahniks. Security officials said up to 2,000 people - who had gotten tickets through promotional giveaways authorized by movie studio New Line Cinema - were shut out of the screening.

Alissa Hoffman had taken off work for the day to attend the premiere as a treat for her 27th birthday. "We waited in line 21/2 hours. . . . I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now," Hoffman said. Officials of New Line Cinema declined to comment. Radio City ushers pointed out the fine print on the rejected tickets that says seating is first-come, first-served. "I've spent five months looking forward to this. I'm angry and frustrated," said Jen Ferguson, 23, who flew in all the way from British Columbia. Ferguson, dressed to the nines in a black Hervé Léger bandage dress and blue satin Christian Louboutin heels, said her parents had bought four tickets for $1,000 each and booked rooms at The Plaza hotel. (What a bunch of dumb, drunken whores!)

The line for the movie, based on the hit HBO series, stretched from Sixth Ave. and wrapped around 50th St. at 5:40 p.m. when officials told the crowd that their tickets would not be honored. "I'm absolutely heartbroken," said Mary Robbins, 26, of the upper East Side, who underwent a throat cancer operation last week and had the surgical staples to prove it. "This is pain and the city." (Get a real life, bitch!)

Comments: What a bunch of fucking maroons, getting dressed up like they were the stars of the movie just so they could see a free premiere where they stood in line for numerous hours for nothing. Everyone knows those free tickets are first come, first serve, so when you are at the end of a line of thousands of people and you don't get in, who is to blame? Just your own stupidity. To all the fucking assholes who did not get in, LOL!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

ESPY AWARDS

The ESPN Sports Pimps continue to hype the ultimate crap known as the ESPY AWARDS. This is where the hardcore ESPN audience of closet homosexuals, pedophiles, prison inmates, and Catholic priests all vote for the best highlights of the year. This includes such categories as:
  1. Best Millionaire Jock Blooper

  2. Stupidest Jock Quote of The Year

  3. Biggest Loser Coach of the Year

  4. Best Prison Jock

  5. Prettiest Lesbian College Basketball player

  6. Scummiest Sports Agent

  7. Top Ten Drug Rehab Highlights

  8. Best Hairy Ass Shot Taken in the Showers After The Big Game

  9. Jock Tales From Alcoholics Anonymous

  10. Fattest Dyke Golfer of the Year

  11. Endorsement Deal Horror Stories
  12. Sports Lowlife of The Year
  13. Best Millionaire Athlete Mug Shot

  14. Best Pat On the Ass By a Creepy-Looking Alcoholic Manager

  15. Best 911 Call by an Abused Sports Wife

  16. Most Alcoholic Baseball Player

  17. Best Arrest Report

  18. Best DUI Police Videos

  19. Best Highlights of Crappy Unknown Sports that ESPN promotes

  20. The Most Un-Funny ESPN Sportscenter Hosts

  21. Endless Clips of Chris Berman's Insipid Remarks

  22. Clips of Dick Vitale Screaming Like a Deflowered Virgin

  23. Many More Clips of Self-Promoting Crap

and of course, the amazing shots of pro athletes occasionally catching the ball, hitting a home run, throwing a pass, and doing their jobs. Too bad the ESPN has nothing to do with Sports they way it used to be before ESPN turned it into "Entertainment Content." Yes, the ESPIES is an endless shitstorm of self-congratulation, self-adulation, and masturbation.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Old Celebrity Faces

Victoria Principal looks like her head is on top of a post. Did she play Yoda in the last Star Wars prequel?
Wayne Newton has a face like a baby's butt. Another one with tiny eyes thanks to plastic surgery.

Priscilla Presley looks like she is either a vampire or she is using the skin from a cadaver.

Mickey Rourke always manages to look more hideous in every mug shot.

Kathleen Turner looks like Joe Louis after 75 fights.

LaToya's nose looks like it is about to collapse into her face!

Liza Minnelli has never been pretty, especially now.

Marlo Thomas! What happened to That Girl? Why is her nose crooked?

Melanie Griffith was a hot babe once. Now she could scare the devil if he woke up in bed next to that face!

Barry Manilow's face looks like a baby's butt. Look at how tiny his eyes have become.

Look at how stretched out her skin is! Even around her nose it looks like it is about the crack open.

Donnatella Versace is living proof that all that hard partying catches up with you sooner or later. She looks like she was Mike Tyson's girlfriend for a few rounds.

Florence Henderson supposedly bagged some of the Brady boys, but I wonder if she had a glass eye back in those days? Shagging her now has to be something like a journey into mystery.

Gary Busey looked insane his entire life. Getting older has just taken it to the next level of scary.


Janice Dickinson is a celebrity thanks to reality TV shows. Would you want to go to her beauty camp?

Jerry Jones will be auditioning for the role of the Crypt Keeper when Tales From the Crypt gets a remake. Being a billionaire has done nothing for his skull-face.

Jessica Lange was always a crazy woman, and now she looks like a crazy old lady.

Jesus, what happened to her? She looks like she got her surgery at K-Mart.

Another ugly chipmunk face. At least you know Joe never got by on his looks.




Look at those little scars behind Burt's ears and under his chin. Look at how stretched out the skin around his eyes has become. His face looks like the leather cover over a drum.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

ESPN Greatest Highlight

Chris Berman once again gets to put his fat ugly face on numerous advertisements for the moronic crap called the Greatest Highlight in sports history. Who gives a rat's ass? What kind of insipid retard thought up this nonsense? Haven't these cynical jerks at ESPN done enough to over-commercialize and ruin sports and turn every sporting event into the Disney Ice Capades? Can't these sports-pimps at ESPN stop smoking crack for a while and let everyone else just enjoy sports for what they are without that lard-bottom tossing in jokes during every sports highlight? It was funny for the first couple of years. That was 25 years ago. Now it is incredibly annoying. Hey Berman, you aren't funny anymore. How many times can you hear the sports-clowns at ESPN call somebody Armani Super-Tumor or some other stupid nickname??

Why don't these ESPN clowns just stick to reporting the news? Not a single one of these dorks is remotely funny, and yet they all think that they are amazingly humorous. What about that Stuart Scott guy that looks like the dork from Fresh Prince of Bel Air?? He really needs a make-over and someone needs to let him know that he is the least funny of all the ESPN parasites. His wandering eye is annoying. This week they have had the entire week dedicated to some beagle that won a dog contest! When did that become sports? Only on ESPN can you find NFL Football followed by dog shows. What a joke. ESPN disrespects everything honorable and noble that the professional athlete once stood for and turned them into "entertainers." ESPN is the official Sports Pimp to all athletes. Extreme Sports? Have you ever seen that nonsense? Someone can do a triple somersault with their hand up their ass while on a skateboard...WOW! Let's see that highlight a million times on ESPN. How about those incredibly pathetic ESPY awards. Athletes actually show up to accept awards for "Best Catch" and all other kinds of silly topics that have to do with "ESPN Highlights." Now we get THE GREATEST HIGHLIGHT! The greatest ESPN Highlight would be the building being shut down and ESPN going out of business.

Not to mention the most annoying Dick Vitale. When is he going to finally retire? Vitale has been about to retire for ten years, but like some kind of incurable venereal disease, he keeps coming back. If Dick Vitale ever starred in a porno movie you know he could fit about five giant black penises into his big mouth. The only thing worse than Dick Vitale is that Beano Cook toad and that other old fart that does the college football games and wears a rug (toupee) that you can clearly see from a mile away. Lee Corso must be about 97 years old and they won't get rid of the bastard. Not to mention Digger Phelps. Why doesn't somebody give him a shovel? Don't any of these old farts have any families? No wonder the kids of the rich and celebrities all turn out to be drug addicts and alcoholics. Their parents were never there for them. ESPN has turned our greatest athletes into money-grubbing whores. Even worse, many of these ESPN tards have ended up on other networks reporting, perverting, and corrupting sports all across the world. The NFL Network hired that major weirdo who is always wearing eye-liner and looks and talks like Buffy the vampire slayer. Jesus H. Christ, couldn't they find at least one manly guy to work the NFL Network??