TV Nation

Bear Kills Trainer

2008-09-29T12:49:00.000-04:00

Rocky the grizzly bear killed his handler with a bite to the neck. (Photograph: Christina Bush/Press Association) A grizzly bear that has starred in Hollywood films including Will Ferrell's latest comedy has attacked and killed its trainer. Rocky, a 360kg male grizzly aged five years, bit Stephan Miller on the neck during filming at an animal training centre in California. Miller's cousin, Randy, who set up the centre, said the bite occurred during "playful" wrestling by what was a "loving, affectionate, friendly, safe bear". "It hit him in a very vulnerable spot," Randy Miller told the Associated Press. "It happened so fast. We did what we had to do to stop the bear. It took a matter of seconds to get him off, but it was too late." Pepper spray was used to subdue the bear and paramedics arrived shortly afterwards but could not revive Miller. Rocky was being filmed for a promotional video for the Predators in Action centre in the San Bernardino Mountains at the time. The centre's animals have appeared in some of Hollywood's biggest films including Gladiator and The Last Samurai. It was set up by Randy Miller to train wild animals to perform, and to recreate animal attacks for Discovery Channel and National Geographic documentaries. One of its stunts is a reconstruction of the illusionist Roy Horn being mauled by a tiger during a Siegfried and Roy show in Las Vegas. "I'm not blaming the animal," Miller said. "We're fast and efficient if there's a problem. These kinds of scenes I do, we're putting ourselves in a vulnerable position a lot." In 1999, Randy Miller came under fire from animal rights groups for arranging a wrestling match between an Alaskan grizzly and a weightlifter. Rocky's fate has not been decided. Because the attack was on a private site it is outside the jurisdiction of state authorities, which would otherwise have had the power to destroy the bear.

Comment: Sad that the trainer got killed, but even sadder that TV, commercials, and Hollywood have to f*ck with animals so much and so often. Leave the poor creatures alone, God created them to live in their nature, not to be performing un-natural tricks for their human masters.

SEX and THE CITY PREMIERE TURNS UGLY!

2008-05-29T08:48:00.003-04:00

Thousands of ticket-holding fans waited outside the Radio City Music Hall for hours before the 'Sex & the City' premiere last night - and many of them were turned away. The "Sex and the City" premiere at Radio City Music Hall became all the rage Tuesday night after a ticket snafu left thousands of fashionistas all dressed up with absolutely no place to go. Organizers of the celeb-studded event overbooked the 6,000-seat theater, leaving bounced fans fuming. The angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping their Manolo Blahniks. Security officials said up to 2,000 people - who had gotten tickets through promotional giveaways authorized by movie studio New Line Cinema - were shut out of the screening.

Alissa Hoffman had taken off work for the day to attend the premiere as a treat for her 27th birthday. "We waited in line 21/2 hours. . . . I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now," Hoffman said. Officials of New Line Cinema declined to comment. Radio City ushers pointed out the fine print on the rejected tickets that says seating is first-come, first-served. "I've spent five months looking forward to this. I'm angry and frustrated," said Jen Ferguson, 23, who flew in all the way from British Columbia. Ferguson, dressed to the nines in a black Hervé Léger bandage dress and blue satin Christian Louboutin heels, said her parents had bought four tickets for $1,000 each and booked rooms at The Plaza hotel. (What a bunch of dumb, drunken whores!)

The line for the movie, based on the hit HBO series, stretched from Sixth Ave. and wrapped around 50th St. at 5:40 p.m. when officials told the crowd that their tickets would not be honored. "I'm absolutely heartbroken," said Mary Robbins, 26, of the upper East Side, who underwent a throat cancer operation last week and had the surgical staples to prove it. "This is pain and the city." (Get a real life, bitch!)

Comments: What a bunch of fucking maroons, getting dressed up like they were the stars of the movie just so they could see a free premiere where they stood in line for numerous hours for nothing. Everyone knows those free tickets are first come, first serve, so when you are at the end of a line of thousands of people and you don't get in, who is to blame? Just your own stupidity. To all the fucking assholes who did not get in, LOL!

ESPY AWARDS

2008-04-17T05:07:00.007-04:00

The ESPN Sports Pimps continue to hype the ultimate crap known as the ESPY AWARDS. This is where the hardcore ESPN audience of closet homosexuals, pedophiles, prison inmates, and Catholic priests all vote for the best highlights of the year. This includes such categories as:

Best Millionaire Jock Blooper

Stupidest Jock Quote of The Year

Biggest Loser Coach of the Year

Best Prison Jock

Prettiest Lesbian College Basketball player

Scummiest Sports Agent

Top Ten Drug Rehab Highlights

Best Hairy Ass Shot Taken in the Showers After The Big Game

Jock Tales From Alcoholics Anonymous

Fattest Dyke Golfer of the Year

Endorsement Deal Horror Stories
Sports Lowlife of The Year
Best Millionaire Athlete Mug Shot

Best Pat On the Ass By a Creepy-Looking Alcoholic Manager

Best 911 Call by an Abused Sports Wife

Most Alcoholic Baseball Player

Best Arrest Report

Best DUI Police Videos

Best Highlights of Crappy Unknown Sports that ESPN promotes

The Most Un-Funny ESPN Sportscenter Hosts

Endless Clips of Chris Berman's Insipid Remarks

Clips of Dick Vitale Screaming Like a Deflowered Virgin

Many More Clips of Self-Promoting Crap

and of course, the amazing shots of pro athletes occasionally catching the ball, hitting a home run, throwing a pass, and doing their jobs. Too bad the ESPN has nothing to do with Sports they way it used to be before ESPN turned it into "Entertainment Content." Yes, the ESPIES is an endless shitstorm of self-congratulation, self-adulation, and masturbation.

Old Celebrity Faces

2008-04-08T07:15:00.006-04:00

Victoria Principal looks like her head is on top of a post. Did she play Yoda in the last Star Wars prequel?
Wayne Newton has a face like a baby's butt. Another one with tiny eyes thanks to plastic surgery.

Priscilla Presley looks like she is either a vampire or she is using the skin from a cadaver.

Mickey Rourke always manages to look more hideous in every mug shot.

Kathleen Turner looks like Joe Louis after 75 fights.

LaToya's nose looks like it is about to collapse into her face!

Liza Minnelli has never been pretty, especially now.

Marlo Thomas! What happened to That Girl? Why is her nose crooked?

Melanie Griffith was a hot babe once. Now she could scare the devil if he woke up in bed next to that face!

Barry Manilow's face looks like a baby's butt. Look at how tiny his eyes have become.

Look at how stretched out her skin is! Even around her nose it looks like it is about the crack open.

Donnatella Versace is living proof that all that hard partying catches up with you sooner or later. She looks like she was Mike Tyson's girlfriend for a few rounds.

Florence Henderson supposedly bagged some of the Brady boys, but I wonder if she had a glass eye back in those days? Shagging her now has to be something like a journey into mystery.

Gary Busey looked insane his entire life. Getting older has just taken it to the next level of scary.

Janice Dickinson is a celebrity thanks to reality TV shows. Would you want to go to her beauty camp?

Jerry Jones will be auditioning for the role of the Crypt Keeper when Tales From the Crypt gets a remake. Being a billionaire has done nothing for his skull-face.

Jessica Lange was always a crazy woman, and now she looks like a crazy old lady.

Jesus, what happened to her? She looks like she got her surgery at K-Mart.

Another ugly chipmunk face. At least you know Joe never got by on his looks.

Look at those little scars behind Burt's ears and under his chin. Look at how stretched out the skin around his eyes has become. His face looks like the leather cover over a drum.

ESPN Greatest Highlight

2008-02-13T07:33:00.004-05:00

Chris Berman once again gets to put his fat ugly face on numerous advertisements for the moronic crap called the Greatest Highlight in sports history. Who gives a rat's ass? What kind of insipid retard thought up this nonsense? Haven't these cynical jerks at ESPN done enough to over-commercialize and ruin sports and turn every sporting event into the Disney Ice Capades? Can't these sports-pimps at ESPN stop smoking crack for a while and let everyone else just enjoy sports for what they are without that lard-bottom tossing in jokes during every sports highlight? It was funny for the first couple of years. That was 25 years ago. Now it is incredibly annoying. Hey Berman, you aren't funny anymore. How many times can you hear the sports-clowns at ESPN call somebody Armani Super-Tumor or some other stupid nickname??

Why don't these ESPN clowns just stick to reporting the news? Not a single one of these dorks is remotely funny, and yet they all think that they are amazingly humorous. What about that Stuart Scott guy that looks like the dork from Fresh Prince of Bel Air?? He really needs a make-over and someone needs to let him know that he is the least funny of all the ESPN parasites. His wandering eye is annoying. This week they have had the entire week dedicated to some beagle that won a dog contest! When did that become sports? Only on ESPN can you find NFL Football followed by dog shows. What a joke. ESPN disrespects everything honorable and noble that the professional athlete once stood for and turned them into "entertainers." ESPN is the official Sports Pimp to all athletes. Extreme Sports? Have you ever seen that nonsense? Someone can do a triple somersault with their hand up their ass while on a skateboard...WOW! Let's see that highlight a million times on ESPN. How about those incredibly pathetic ESPY awards. Athletes actually show up to accept awards for "Best Catch" and all other kinds of silly topics that have to do with "ESPN Highlights." Now we get THE GREATEST HIGHLIGHT! The greatest ESPN Highlight would be the building being shut down and ESPN going out of business.

Not to mention the most annoying Dick Vitale. When is he going to finally retire? Vitale has been about to retire for ten years, but like some kind of incurable venereal disease, he keeps coming back. If Dick Vitale ever starred in a porno movie you know he could fit about five giant black penises into his big mouth. The only thing worse than Dick Vitale is that Beano Cook toad and that other old fart that does the college football games and wears a rug (toupee) that you can clearly see from a mile away. Lee Corso must be about 97 years old and they won't get rid of the bastard. Not to mention Digger Phelps. Why doesn't somebody give him a shovel? Don't any of these old farts have any families? No wonder the kids of the rich and celebrities all turn out to be drug addicts and alcoholics. Their parents were never there for them. ESPN has turned our greatest athletes into money-grubbing whores. Even worse, many of these ESPN tards have ended up on other networks reporting, perverting, and corrupting sports all across the world. The NFL Network hired that major weirdo who is always wearing eye-liner and looks and talks like Buffy the vampire slayer. Jesus H. Christ, couldn't they find at least one manly guy to work the NFL Network??

Dos Equis Man

2007-10-17T01:54:00.001-04:00

When it rains, it is because he is sad.

One time he called the wrong number. He knew it was the wrong number even though the man on the other end would not admit it. (what a fucking genius!)

He is left handed. And right handed. His sister is the town whore.

If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there. He likes to dress up as Santa Claus on Halloween.

His charisma can be seen from space. He also likes to wrestle young boys and give them beer.

If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men's lower intestines. (a fat old man who drinks beer probably has a large gland)

He is the most interesting man in the world. (why is there another guy in the picture? Is Mr. Dos Equis a switch-hitter??)

Then the scratchy voice of someone who sounds like a hard-core smoker and gutter-level alcholic comes on and says: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, it is Dos Equis." then a few seconds later, the same raspy voice says "Stay thirsty, my friends." Get fucked, bastard!

HEY! Well whoop-dee-do! How about this for his next ad:

When he shoves a baseball bat up his ass, it thunders.
When he farts, there are earthquakes in India.
You can see his stretched-out asshole from space.

His penis is so large he keeps it strapped against his belly and he often pees onto his face and then drinks it. "I don't drink my urine every day, but when I do, I like to wash it down with Dos Equis."

Even worse than these retarded advertisements are some new ones where the same dumb bastard is compared to Santa Claus and is now responsible for Christmas. Some advertisements are so fucking stupid that the people that created them should be arrested and banned from working in the advertising field.

Panda Pals

2007-10-16T19:07:00.001-04:00

Back around 1972, U.S. President Richard Nixon made his famous trip to Red China. Here in the USA, it was major news. The Chinese gave Nixon a couple of pandas, and the pandas were in the news for months and became major celebrities. Like most kids at the time, I thought there was something special about pandas. However, the panda mystique has been sullied by the realities of commercialism.

Getting the pandas to procreate has become a major project for any zoos that have gotten their own pandas. The Chinese Government typically sells the pandas for as much as ten million dollars each. Often the pandas are only rented out to various zoos for several years. Any baby pandas that are born during the rental period are the property of the zoos, so there is a lot of pressure to get the pandas to mate successfully.

A baby panda can be worth millions of dollars to a zoo. It is not just the tourist revenue from visitors, but pandas can be rented to other zoos. The only way to end the cycle of dependence on foreign pandas is for the rental pandas to give birth to American pandas.

This is Ling-Ling and her baby Wing-Wong. A few minutes after this photo was taken she ate the cub.

In order to train the pandas to stop eating their cubs, the Chinese have been dressing babies as pandas and sending them in to the panda cages so that the trainers can teach the pandas to be better parents.

The future of the pandas depends on whether or not human children can teach parenting skills to the pandas.

In China, wealthy women are encouraged to adopt a panda as a symbolic mate.

Sometimes the pandas get excited during these ceremonial visits with their symbolic mates.

Some famous celebrities have bought their own pandas and trained them to perform simple tasks like driving a golf cart.

At some zoos, the pandas have gotten out of their habitats and mated with other animals.

Condensed Panda milk is a very expensive aphrodesiac. It takes zoo workers several hours to milk a can out of a panda.

Dedicated animal lovers have tried to help zoos make money by eating Panda Puffs and Gorrilla Munch. These cereals are made from animal pellets and like cow chips they have a high concentration of fiber which is good for the human digestive system.

These are panda chips.

Several companies have come up with ideas for serving healthy panda meat in school cafeterias.

If you have ever gone to a Chinese restaurant and wondered what is inside the breaded mystery treats, it is not always dogs and cats.

Getting pandas to reproduce seems to be impossible, so one company has come up with the idea of cloning pandas and making panda patties from the ones that come out with defective DNA. It is a win-win situation for everyone?

In China, pandas fight bears on TV game shows like Kimushipoo.

Panda wrestlers tag-team with real pandas and fight bears on Serbian TV.

American Patriot Rush Limbaugh

2007-10-05T21:40:00.000-04:00

Rush likes kids, but he doesn't like to help pay for their health insurance. He supports the Bush veto of the Children's Health Care plan, but supports sending hundreds of billions of dollars to Iraq. The kids in Iraq are getting health care from the U.S. Taxpayers, but not the kids in America. It is the Republican way.

This photo came up when I googled Rush Limbo. Could it be from his care-free and gay frat days when he was in college? It sure looks like Rush.

Rush Limbaugh made his name with his tough conservative stance on illegal drug use. He wanted every drug user sent to prison until it came out that he was a drug addict too. Then he hired the sleaziest criminal lawyers that he could find and his Dream Team kept him out of prison. As Rush Limbaugh sees it, the law is meant to put poor people in prison. Rush has too much to offer to actually pay the consequences of his crimes. After all, he is talent on loan from God. I would like to see that meeting between Rush and God when his judgment day finally arrives. What does God think of the endless lies that Rush has pushed? What does God think of a combat coward who runs down disabled veterans that are against the waste of money (war) in Iraq?

Rush loves to sell products about himself. There are dedicated "Ditto-Heads" who actually send Rush several hundred dollars annually for his newsletter. If Rush sold dildos shaped like his head he could really make a killing. That's not saying he has a dick-head, but look at him.

He is always trying to promote something. Not sure if he got the Oxy-Contin gig, but I think he was selling Viagra at some point. He likes to get his hard-on even though he has never been able to father any kids. Kind of strange for a guy who claims he is a virile non-homosexual.

Rush loves to tell everybody about courage and war. Of course, Rush got a deferment when Vietnam was going. He did not want to risk depriving the world of the greatest conservative on earth. I believe he had anal warts at the time so the military gave him a pass. Now Rush masquerades as a patriot. What kind of patriot is a deferment coward??? Thomas Jefferson and George Washington must be turning in their graves to see the kind of human scum that pretends to speak for the patriots of America.

JULY 6, 2006--Rush Limbaugh was traveling with several other men when he was detained over a mislabeled bottle of Viagra found in his luggage during a Customs search. A Department of Homeland security passenger manifest shows that Limbaugh and his male buddies flew from the Dominican Republic on a Gulfstream IV jet owned by Premiere Radio Networks, which syndicates his radio program. With all those guys in tow, it is unclear what Limbaugh needed with those 29 100mg Viagra pills. The passenger manifest was among several documents released by the Palm Beach County State's Attorney in response to an open records request. Included in the material released were a copy of the handwritten statement Limbaugh provided investigators after he was detained upon the discovery of the impotency drug. An affidavit sworn three days later by Limbaugh was also released. In that document, Limbaugh explains that the Viagra "was intended for my exclusive use" and that the drug had been prescribed in the name of his drug treatment doctor, Steven Strumwasser, "to further maintain and protect my privacy." Now why would Rush Limbaugh be travelling to the Domincan Republic with a whole bunch of Viagra?? The underage prostitution in the Dominican Republic is well documented. He certainly doesn't have any friends there, except the kind that money can buy.

Then again, maybe the reason Rush has no kids is because he is a closet homosexual? That seems to be normal for most Republicans. Toe-tapping Senator Larry Craig made a career of cruising public restrooms for gay sex. The list of closet-queer Republifags gets longer every day.

Look at that Dominican baby! The dead head looks a lot like Rush Limbaugh! Is this what a DITTO-HEAD looks like?? Did Rush finally produce an heir?

Rush Limbaugh, a sad excuse for Americanism. He avoided his military service, he was a drug addict, he goes to foreign countries with lots of men friends and bags of Viagra. Apparently Rush can't get any sex in America. He supports aid to foreign countries but not for American children. He has no kids of his own but claims that he is not a homosexual. Wonder who is getting all the money in his will? Don't be surprised if it is another guy.

Geico Cave Men

2007-10-03T01:07:00.000-04:00

Talk about the ultimate moronic Geico commercial. Geico must have money to burn. The first cave-man commercial was mildly amusing. The second one is mildy gloid. In this insipid commercial, the Geico hatchetman meets the two Neanderthals at a restaurant. Apparently these two boys are a couple, which just goes to show that Geico is a lot more liberal than their main stockholder. The more fey of the two Neanderthals decides he just can't eat after remembering the dismissive remark about the cave-men. Cave-boy is traumatized. The only thing missing is Joe Piscopo as The Prehistoric Cave-Man Lawyer to show up at the dinner table threatening to file a Class Action lawsuit because his two clients have been traumatized. Who writes these awful Geico commercials?

Update October 2007: The stupid ass Geico cavemen are now starring in their own Cavemen television series on the worst network, ABC (Another Boring Channel). This piece of shit idea began airing last night, and hopefully it will get cancelled by next week, if not sooner. The Cavemen series and the commercials are a testament to the stupidity of Americans, and the fact that the media thinks that Americans are dumber than blocks of wood, bags of rocks, or knitting yarn. The Cavemen are dumbing down America! Don't watch that Cavemen crap, and pray it gets cancelled immediately!! Better yet, maybe Jessica Alba will join the cast and give herpes to the neanderthals!! Then again, maybe they would rather get it from Derek Jeter. After all, they are prehistoric switch-hitters!

Arrested Hollywood

2007-09-20T23:39:00.000-04:00

Hollywood has a long history of drunks, drug addicts, perverts, and murderers that have often gotten away with their crimes thanks to the studios and corrupt legal system. Here are a few examples.

Britney Spears has been rumored to go both ways in front of her kids. What a sad excuse of a Mom and a former Disney star. No Disney family values there!!

These two bimbos (Michelle Rodriguez and ?) from the cast of the LOST television series got arrested for DUI on the same night.

Mel Gibson's drunk photo. He looks really happy.

Armand Assante sucking down some vino?

Courtney Love in her usual state of inebriation.

David Hasselhoff trying to eat a burger off the floor while falling down drunk.

British singer Fergie, drunk or stoned?

Tara Reid, another drunken party animal.

OJ Simpson and his two victims. It is sad and sick that there are so many people who want to play golf with OJ and who keep telling him what a wonderful guy he is. Hopefully his most recent caper in Las Vegas will lead to some long prison terms for him and his friends.

Will OJ and Michael Vick find the love that will change them into good people?

The Black Dahlia murder. Another Hollywood crime that was never solved.

Keefer Sutherland before he was the star of "24" and now again has been arrested for DUI! Why does such a successful person need to be drunk all the time?

Yasmine Bleeth is a gorgeous babe, but in this arrest photo she looks like a two-bagger.

Vince Vaughn, when he's not crashing weddings is getting arrested for DUI.

Robert Downey, Jr. after some of his arrests for drugs, drinking, etc.

Paris Hilton, after being told that she only had $159 million in the bank.

Phil Spector, who stopped being relevant in the 1960s but is planning a new album with all the ex-girlfriends he has threatened.

Rip Torn. You can tell he thinks he's funny even when he's drunk and looks like Nick Nolte.

James Brown had a long history with drugs and alcohol.

Wynona Judd mugshot looks scary. She signed up to play Hogzilla in the next Godzilla movie.

Lindsey Lohan, another drunken Disney skank. Makes you wonder what kind of work environment they have for those Disney kid actors.

Nick Nolte after playing The Hulk's father and realizing that his career was over.

Homo Alone in prison, Macauley Culkin goes undercover. He actually requested more time. That milk mustache in the photo is not milk (check the corners of his mouth).

Remember Bud from Married With Children? He grew up and got busted, what a surprise!

Adam Baldwin, the most successful of the Baldwin brothers. When he is not insulting his ex-wife and daughter, he likes to drink and do drugs.

The most famous unconvicted celebrity.

Nicole Richie Spawns Mutant?

2007-07-15T01:08:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody, have you heard the news? Nicole Richie is pregnant! She isn't married, and she hasn't exposed the list of potential fathers.

Some say it might be an alien.

Nobody thinks it could have been Paris Hilton.

We can only wonder for now which celebrity friend did the deed.

Maybe somebody that likes girls that have the body of a young boy???

The genetic potential of mixing the Jackson Family DNA with the Lionel Ritchie DNA is mind-boggling! The result would be a pop-star who could start making records by the time he/she was five years old...

Is this the future Lionel Jackson??

Paris Hilton Whore Goes to Prison

2007-06-06T10:20:00.001-04:00

Hilton 'doing well' in LA prison (too bad--where are the shanks and the bad gang-bangers when you need them?). Paris Hilton has an hour a day to shower or make phone calls. Paris Hilton, the US socialite, white trash whore, and former TV star of The Simple Life, is doing well after her first night in a Los Angeles jail, her lawyer has said. Dick Shyster added she would now "reflect on her filthy life, to see what evil she can do to make the world more perverted". Hours after appearing at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, Hilton, 26, started her sentence at the LA County Jail.

She will serve 23 days in solitary confinement for violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction. The rich whore has been separated from the main prison population in a special unit that contains 12 cells, each holding two people. The warden, Otto Kruger said he put Hilton in solitary confinement because she would suffer more by herself. We don't want her spending her time here in non-stop lesbian orgies. We know she would love to lick some prison pussy, and there is always the issue of contraband. Here in prison, she would be able to trade for young coochie and drugs with people who know that she can help them because of all her money." Hilton asked for the mug-shots of the youngest inmates, as she wanted to choose a cute cell-mate, but she was turned down.

Hilton will spend 23 hours in her cell and has one hour to shower and masturbate, watch television or make phone calls. Former inmate and LA resident Camesha Poontang, who spent one day in the main prison for neglecting to pay parking tickets, said conditions for the rest of the women were unpleasant. "You have people defecating on themselves, urinating on themselves, filming amateur lezzie porn--it's horrible," she said. "The only way to alleviate suffering is sex. Some of the guards bring their video cameras every day. I got paid with cigarettes for my videos." Hilton's lawyer said his client was "really being punished because of her celebrity> She's not the dirty skank everyone says she is. Inside her shallow outer shell is a true sociopath on the level of a Martha Stewart or Leona Helmsley."

Steve Dickmore from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, which runs the jail, said: "Her demeanor was helpful." Hilton was accompanied by Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as she arrived at the jail. She was then fingerprinted, photographed, medically screened and issued with the jail's regulation orange jumpsuit. She removed her top and she was cooperative. She performed fellatio on everyone in Booking. She had sex with the guard that took her to her cell. She gave each prison employee hundred dollar bills on her way to solitary confinement. After checking in, Hilton was given her first meal which was caviar, cocaine, and vodka.

Mr. Shyster said his client is taking responsibility for her actions, adding: "She knows everyone thinks she is a dumb coke whore, but her attitude is 'I'm going to come in here, I'm going to lick a lot of pussy, have lots of fun, do lots of contraband drugs, do some screens for venereal diseases, and get it over with. I'm going to show the world who I really am, not just a dumb whore." Meanwhile the waxwork museum Madame Tussaud's in London has taken the opportunity to mock the celebrity socialite. The wax mannequin of the star has been temporarily dressed in a black and white striped prison suit, placed with her head between the legs of Marie Antoinette, another famous dumb whore.

Top Spammer Arrested

2007-05-31T12:27:00.000-04:00

A 27-year-old man described as one of the world's most prolific spammers was arrested Wednesday, and federal authorities said computer users across the Web could notice a decrease in the amount of junk e-mail. Robert Alan Soloway is accused of using networks of compromised "zombie" computers to send out millions upon millions of spam e-mails. "He's one of the top 10 spammers in the world," said Tim Cranton, a Microsoft Corp. lawyer who is senior director of the company's Worldwide Internet Safety Programs. "He's a huge problem for our customers. This is a very good day." A federal grand jury last week returned a 35-count indictment against Soloway charging him with mail fraud, wire fraud, e-mail fraud, aggravated identity theft and money laundering.

Soloway pleaded not guilty Wednesday afternoon to all charges after a judge determined that — even with four bank accounts seized by the government — he was sufficiently well off to pay for his own lawyer. He has been living in a ritzy apartment and drives an expensive Mercedes convertible, said prosecutor Kathryn Warma. Prosecutors are seeking to have him forfeit $773,000 they say he made from his business, Newport Internet Marketing Corp. A public defender who represented him for Wednesday's hearing declined to comment.

Prosecutors say Soloway used computers infected with malicious code to send out millions of junk e-mails since 2003. The computers are called "zombies" because owners typically have no idea their machines have been infected. He continued his activities even after Microsoft won a $7 million civil judgment against him in 2005 and the operator of a small Internet service provider in Oklahoma won a $10 million judgment, prosecutors said. U.S. Attorney Jeff Sullivan said Wednesday that the case is the first in the country in which federal prosecutors have used identity theft statutes to prosecute a spammer for taking over someone else's Internet domain name. Soloway could face decades in prison, though prosecutors said they have not calculated what guideline sentencing range he might face.

The investigation began when the authorities began receiving hundreds of complaints about Soloway, who had been featured on a list of known spammers kept by The Spamhaus Project, an international anti-spam organization. The Santa Barbara County, Calif., Department of Social Services said it was spending $1,000 a week to fight the spam it was receiving, and other businesses and individuals complained of having their reputations damaged when it appeared spam was originating from their computers. "This is not just a nuisance. This is way beyond a nuisance," Warma said.

Soloway used the networks of compromised computers to send out unsolicited bulk e-mails urging people to use his Internet marketing company to advertise their products, authorities said. People who clicked on a link in the e-mail were directed to his Web site. There, Soloway advertised his ability to send out as many as 20 million e-mail advertisements over 15 days for $495, the indictment said. The Spamhaus Project rejoiced at his arrest. "Soloway has been a long-term nuisance on the Internet — both in terms of the spam he sent, and the people he duped to use his spam service," organizers wrote on Spamhaus.org. Soloway remained in federal detention pending a hearing Monday.

Scumbag Ken Lay is Dead

2006-07-05T19:16:00.000-04:00

Ken Lay is dead. May he burn in hell. Ken Lay died of a heart attack, probably because his lawyers sent him their bill. Ken Lay was the Enron corporate weasel who robbed not only his customers and colleagues but his own employees and friends. Ken Lay never spent a day in jail, thanks to the millions of dollars that he had stolen from others.

His lawyers got rich, and Ken Lay's family got to keep all the money he siphoned to them. The only people that got screwed were the thousands that trusted him and who believed that the U.S. Government would protect them from fraud.

Hurricane Hype Begins Now!

2006-06-10T05:30:00.000-04:00

The Hurricane Season begins June 1, and the weather vultures have already begun hyping their non-stop 24 hour weather coverage. Don't get me wrong, hurricanes are very dangerous. But cynical opportunism is just as bad, and that is what has been going on in South Florida since Hurricane Andrew came along in 1992. Hurricane Andrew turned Bryan Norcross into a media superstar and millionaire because he stayed up the entire night of Hurricane Andrew broadcasting photos of homes being destroyed (thanks to the stringers that they had taking photos and risking their lives out in the hurricanes).

Because of the incredible celebrity (and riches) that Norcross got from exploiting Hurricane Andrew for all it was worth, a new breed of weather-person spawned in South Florida; The Hurricane Forecaster. These folks are weather-persons during most of the year, but during hurricane season they spend their time regularly interrupting television shows to let you know that there is a hurricane brewing near Chile, 2400 miles away. Then they let you know that in ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes they will interrupt the show again to give you an update on the storm. This goes on and on from June until November, when the hurricane season is finally over.

Besides getting people constantly hyped up about every possible storm in the western hemisphere, these weather vultures spend a lot of their time endorsing hurricane preparedness. This means that supermarkets, lumber companies, electrical generator sellers, and air-conditioning repair companies generously sponsor these Hurricane Warning shows and hurricane preparedness "specials" so that the weather vultures can lead the public running to the stores to buy millions of dollars in hurricane "protection." When hurricane season begins, you can see the happiness and joy on the faces of weather-persons like Don Noe. Every time a storm is brewing somewhere, they interrupt programming to announce a hurricane warning, and you can see they are over-joyed at the prospect of another opportunity to become the next hurricane celebrity, like Bryan Norcross.

Does all this hurricane exploitation save any lives? Sure. There are probably some morons that would not figure out that a hurricane was coming unless they saw constant warnings and updates every ten minutes on every television station. For the rest of us, the hurricanes are an unavoidable force of nature that you can prepare for in a reasonable manner without any hysteria. Hopefully someday soon Bryan Norcross, Don Noe, and the rest of these hurricane vultures will retire (or go to prison--former hurricane expert Bill Kamal is doing five years for kiddie porn. Did his guilty conscience drive him to self-destruct?) and open the way for weather-persons that have some sense of ethics and journalistic integrity.

Thugs Gangstas Homies girls

2006-05-22T01:36:00.000-04:00

Who are they, and why do they let themselves get used? Is it poverty, lack of education, low self esteem, low intelligence, peer pressure, unstable family environment?

J-Lo, or just another gangsta ho? Is this the fashion statement for low income Hispanic girls?

Pimp Daddy (or Vanilla Ice?) making the rounds to visit his homie girlz. Lots of dumb gangsta chics love to get into the tricked-out hunks of shit that pass for cool vehicles among thugs.

The thug life: tattoos, drugs, liquor, ugly friends, and either going to prison, or visiting friends in prison.

Some girls lacking in social skills are probably better off being in a gang, if they can find one that wants them.

Eva Rodriguez and Patricia Crespo, victims of a drive-by shooting. How many young girls have died as a result of gang violence?

Notice the dumb faces on most of the skags that are flashing gangsta signs. There are probably some that are right out of Special Ed.

You can bet these two gangsta skanks are probably working hard at Mickey-D's to support their homies.

The thug & gangsta life usually ends in prison, drug rehabilitation, and/or death. Most of the women of these gang criminals end up as unwed mommies with no child support.

Sideways cap kid killed

2006-05-21T02:51:00.000-04:00

(story by Eric Kroger, UPI) By most accounts, Jamal Jefferson was a streetwise punk with a heart of gold. The soft-spoken frosh played junior-varsity basketball for Coral Gables High School. He was nominated for Athlete of the Year last year by the South Florida branch of the Crips. So why were his classmates wearing "Free Jamal" T-shirts last week?

The 15-year-old had just been arrested on campus during lunch for wearing his baseball cap sideways and refusing to turn it to the front. Jamal, who is black, believed that he was being singled out. Other white teens at the school were wearing their hats sideways. Jamal's mother criticized both police and school officials' handling of the incident.

Jamal was held in a Miami jail cell on suspicion of disorderly conduct, failure to obey a police officer, trespassing and interfering or disrupting an educational institution. School officials and police defended their actions. Coral Gables police Detective Slim Bradley said Officer Bela Lermoor knows the teen and didn't want to arrest him. "Normally Officer Lermoor avoids dealing with gang members," Bradley said. Officer Lermoor was worried that the situation could escalate when other students gathered around Jamal and began chanting "Stab the cop, shiv him, shank him!"

The confrontation began when Jamal was having lunch and security guards approached him about his hat. It is against school policy to wear hats sideways because it is a sign of disrespect for authority, but Jamal's mother, Loquaya Kenmore Franklin, said that the rule is only enforced against blacks. "The white boys can get away with anything."

According to the police report, Jamal pointed to several white students whose hats were on sideways, and said "Usually I don't have a problem these dumb white crackas, but I seen everbody else with their hats sidewsays. I is just fed up with being told to put mine straight."

When Jamal wouldn't do as the security guards and three assistant principals asked, the police officer told Jamal to straighten his hat, and he refused. Assistant Principal Leonard Grazer ordered Jamal to the school office, but the teen refused. Grazer then told Jamal that he was being suspended for insubordination and Jamal yelled and rushed Grazer with his home-made shank. According to the report, Jamal yelled that he was "killing his self a whitey." Officer Lermoor tasered Jamal when the youth lunged at Assistant Principal Grazer.

Jamal's mother, Loquaya Kenmore Franklin, admitted that Jamal's behavior was rebellious, but she denounced the school's reaction as "uncalled for." "He shouldn't have had to walk out of there in handcuffs in front of all his homies," Ms. Franklin said. "He should not have been put in a holding cell with adult prisoners. He was just a boy. The school killed my boy."

Shortly after Jamal's arrest, classmates staged a protest. One student, Rita Alonso, was suspended for 10 days for taking off her top and exposing herself in support of Jamal. "School officials did everything they were supposed to do," said Tim Guffmann, a spokesman for the Miami-Dade School District. Becky Quillian, a sophomore said, "Jamal was always nice to me during lunch-time. School security was just jealous because most of the girls here prefer the muscular black boys over the flabby, lazy fat white boys."

Jamal was placed in a holding cell with about fifty other prisoners. While in the holding cell, Jamal reportedly mouthed off to a few members of the Latin Kings. Corrections officers did not hear any noise or any commotion. However, when the next shift did a head count, they discovered Jamal's body in the showers. He had been stabbed numerous times. An autopsy report is pending. At this time, one youth, Ramon Velez, is being held as a suspect.

Geico Gecko

2006-05-20T02:19:00.000-04:00

There is something intrinsically wrong with so many corporations stealing the beauty, creations, and images of nature in order to promote their own greedy goals. Geico is one of the best examples of this. They spend hundreds of millions of dollars every year so that their Gecko commercials can be on every television channel all the time. They have perverted the image of the Gecko so that now many people have come to associate a Gecko with some cynical automobile insurance company.

Sometimes Geico has aired a creative Gecko commercial, but most of the time, the commercials are either insipid, stupid, or sub-moronic. Thanks to Geico's billions, the cgi graphics have been steadily improving. Perhaps Geico plans on opening a Gecko theme park someday? Can the Gecko become more popular than Mickey Mouse?

Apparently Geico has trademarked the Gecko name, and it is on some kind of corporate mission to force all others to stop using the image of the Gecko for any reason. Only Geico can use a Gecko, and that is just wrong. It like like McDonald's restaurants which have prohibited anyone whose real name is McDonald from using his or her real name as part of the name of any business.

In effect, McDonald's owns the McDonald name and nobody else can use it. Now Geico is doing the same thing to the Gecko. Hopefully they won't manage to gain actual ownership of the species too! Nature being patented, trademarked, bought, and sold thanks to the arrogance of the legal system is wrong on so many levels. Geckos are beautiful creatures of nature, they were not meant to be owned by any sleazy corporation.

Gangsta Homies Sagging pants homosexuality?

2006-05-19T23:19:00.000-04:00

Every time I see one of those foul-mouthed gangsta homie pussies talking trash and walking around with their underwear sticking out of their sagging pants, I don't get upset because I realize that sooner or later they will end up in prison, playing the prison-bitch game with their homies.

Why aren't all gang members in prison? Why are the illegal aliens who are gang members being deported instead of being kept in a maximum security prison? They are just being sent back to their native countries where they are creating branches of their gangs in their home towns. Gang members need to be executed or kept in prison for life. Anyone with a gang logo tattooed on their body or flashing gang signs should be sent to prison. The human garbage that participates in the gangsta life is just polluting, corrupting, and destroying the rest of the Latinos and minorities who have honest goals and a hard-working attitude.

I was wondering what the origins of "sagging" were, and was surprised to find out that while prison homosexuality had something to do with it, there were other factors involved: [From Snopes.com] "We were talking about how the kids are wearing the pants way down on their body with the crotch at their knees. One guy said he was told that this started in prison with the gay prisoner doing that to show that they are ready for a sexual relationship with whoever is interested."

"A friend told me recently that the "gang" style of baggy pants showing your underwear (called "jailin") was originally a prison code signifying that the man wearing them was willing to be, er, the "girlfriend" of some other man/men."

Sagging pants worn this way are kept up by constant hitching, an act that becomes an integral part of the walking style of the wearer. While sagging did gain its start in the U.S. prison system, it was not a clothes-wearing style authored by imprisoned homosexuals intent upon advertising their interest in casual flings.

Sagging pants became the behind-the-bars thing thanks to ill-fitting prison-issue garb: some of those incarcerated were provided with clothing a few sizes too large. That oversizing, coupled with the lack of belts in the big house, led to a great number of jailbirds whose pants were falling off their arses. (Belts are not permitted in most correctional facilities because all too often the lifeless bodies of their inmate owners have been found hanging from them.)

The most intriguing aspect of the "trolling for gay sex" rumor lies not in its veracity, but in its acceptance as gospel by those who encounter it and who are then moved to pass it along to others. While the combination of two facts (homosexuality in prison and falling-down pants worn by inmates) accounts for the origin of the belief that links the one to the other, its spread is attributable to the prevailing dislike of the fashion. But of course, when you realize that gangstas are all about the prison culture, you have to consider that most of those trashy punks with their sagging pants have been pulling a train in prison (or juvenile hall) at one time or another. There is alot of rampant homosexuality among those prison cultures.

Conservative Patriots support high gas prices

2006-05-03T15:21:00.000-04:00

The patriots of Conservatism see nothing wrong with the Oil Companies here in America manipulating Gas prices and reaping $35Billion in profits every quarter.

Republican Gas Prices

2006-05-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

Republicans seem to have only one agenda: Their Rich Supporters.

The true-believer, working-class Republican gets a "tax-break" worth about $300. and then pays a few extra thousand dollars a year in higher gasoline prices so that the Bush Family Oil Stocks can keep tripling in value.

For anyone that owns Oil stocks, the Iraq War has been like a blessing from Heaven. God loves rich Republicans.

Tom-Tom Go

2006-04-28T05:28:00.000-04:00

Has anyone heard the moronic commercials for Tom-Tom-Go; the GPS satellite that retards can install into their vehicles if they are too fucking stupid to find their way to work every morning?

Mongoloid's Mom calls, and he says "Mom-Mom where do I turn now?" Then the voice-over comes on: "If you want to find out where you are going, don't ask Mom-Mom; ask Tom-Tom." Gee, if you are such a Gloid that you need to call Tom-Tom regularly in order to go to shopping, you should just get institutionalized.

What kind of lamedick needs so much help in order to drive around that he has to have on ON-BOARD computer navigator?? Are there so many dumb people driving around? Shouldn't there be concern that the kind of folks that need Tom-Tom-Go probably should NOT be driving around at all??